“Congratulations!” he said with a big smile, as if this was a huge achievement. Our mutual friend had just shared the news of his new relationship, and my former boyfriend quickly offered his enthusiastic approval.
It struck me as odd, though not surprising. Over the past three years, I’ve noticed that it’s rarely about the milestones people work so hard to achieve—not the promotion they’ve earned, not the side business they’ve been building from the ground up, and not the fact that many of us have been navigating life solo after tough breakups and hardships. No, the loudest congratulations always seem to come when someone enters a new relationship.
“Wow, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you! Well done!” It almost feels as if finding a partner holds more weight than any personal accomplishment or growth.
I’m happy for my friend, of course, and I’m sure his new girlfriend is wonderful. But I can’t help wondering why this is what everyone is so quick to celebrate. Does having a new partner really outrank all the other forms of success or happiness we work so hard for?
Since I moved to this new place, I’ve spent time rediscovering who I am, strengthening friendships, and growing in ways I never imagined. Yet none of that has ever sparked the same level of excitement or praise. Is it easier to celebrate a new relationship than to acknowledge the more subtle but equally meaningful victories in life?
Maybe I should check if I’m writing this out of unprocessed feelings about my ex.
It’s not about being bitter or resentful, but it does make me question our cultural priorities. Why do we place such emphasis on romantic relationships, as if they are the ultimate measure of success? I’ve known love in so many forms—through friends, family, and myself. But somehow, those things don’t seem to carry the same weight.
So yes, I’ll congratulate my friend because I’m genuinely happy for him. Still, I’ll also remind myself that the truest celebrations are the ones that recognize how we grow, whether in relationships or on our own.
By the way, congratulations to all the incredible humans defending their research this month—that’s also worth celebrating!
